Relationship Questions

Ask any astrologer what drives people to have readings and relationships are in the top 3, often number 1. The last few years I’ve been watching my take on relationships shift. And hey people, I’m headed into the Age of Aquarius, so things have to change. But so are you! In general, the Piscean Age of the last 2100 years is about dependency, and we’re at present being called to learn the Aquarian ideal of independence.

But don’t think that independence means that relationships don’t, can’t or shouldn’t exist. It’s just that they need to work a little differently. You need to be clearer about why you have them, what you’re willing to give (and what in there is healthy!), and how you exist in a state of learning to find balance, harmony and the right kinds of give and take.

Here are a few tips for that transition. These are just places to start, to get your mental juices flowing.

1. If you want to know when your dream relationship/soul mate will arrive on your doorstep, ask yourself who you’d get to be if you had it. What’s not in play that you’re waiting for someone else to come along to get to do/be? What wonderful thing about yourself are you waiting for someone else to bring out? Or maybe waiting for someone else to validate so you feel comfortable bringing it out?

2. If you want a love relationship with someone already in your life, ask yourself who you’d get to be if you had it. What do you think that person has that can bring out what in you? What do you think you need to bring that part of you out?

3. If you’re feeling you might need to make a change to a current relationship but are not sure, or are not sure how or why, ask yourself who you have to be to make the relationship work. Is that version of you complete? Are huge chunks left out? Or minor chunks that have turned out to be really important? What are you suppressing to keep the status quo? Is that acceptable? Is doing so honoring yourself? Is it possible to have a healthy relationship if you’re keeping part of you at bay?

4. If you can’t let go of a former relationship but know it’s important to do so, ask yourself who you got to be in that relationship. This is the key to why you don’t want to let go. What part of you do you miss getting to bring out? Who did you love being, but now believe you can’t be if that person isn’t around?

Notice a theme? It’s all about you. It turns out that other people show up to teach us stuff about us. In other words, all of our relationships are teachers for us, as are those with whom we have them.

Whatever’s happening, your invitation is to see about your own assumptions, expectations and blind spots. When things are rad we don’t tend to have an eye on what we might be learning, and when things are anything but rad we don’t tend to realize that we’re getting chances to learn about ourselves.

This is a different way of looking at relationships, I know. But you’re on your way to the Aquarian Age, too, aren’t you?

Tom is available for private consultations that include karmic astrology and mediumship/Spirit Guide work. He offers two original natal reports, one on the true Black Moon Lilith and one on how to prepare yourself for the shifts in consciousness happening now on Earth culminating at the end of the Mayan Calendar in 2012, “Living in the Present Tense,” using Pluto, Chiron, Lilith and Lucifer. See his website to order and to book a session.