Lilith in Relationship

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Lilith in Relationship

Excerpt from Lilith: Healing the Wild:

Lilith bookLilith’s journey begins in her relationship with Adam. She rejected his attempts to dominate her and left him in order to pursue unfettered, authentic self-expression. Yet it is inaccurate to assume that all relationships in which Lilith is active do or should end with conflict and flight, as the myth as we have received it suggests. Far from it, in fact. What has laid the ground for so many Lilith-informed relationships that do end with conflict and flight is a general and pervasive confusion that the myth – about the wild feminine being a demonic influence – is interchangeable with the archetype, which is about how we experience the wild feminine in our lives.

As we’ve seen, the true Black Moon for an individual represents a cache of emotional history that requires much patience, acceptance, self-love and forgiveness to deepen into and navigate successfully. When Lilith is active in relationships the positive or negative quality of her influence depends on how each party responds to and reacts to her. In other words, their individual relationships with the energy will determine how they react to Lilith in each other. For this reason it is imperative for each individual in a relationship to take responsibility for his or her own emotional and relationship histories and take steps to heal whatever in them needs healing.

Lilith’s themes coming up in relationship can be a signal that one or each person needs to revisit his or her own Lilith energy to clean up any outstanding debris from relationship histories that might be getting in the way. When this happens, flight may seem the easiest thing to do. Yet Lilith can exist in healthy relationship with others. It is important to her – she and Adam are halves of a whole, after all – and she can be in healthy relationship if she makes space within it to be true to herself. If she honors herself at all times – what should be a commonplace understanding these days about the seed necessary for creating healthy relationships – then she is more than willing to invest in relationships and, in fact, do so deeply. Remember that she’s very conscious of the fact that she has another half. That it is Adam, a conformist brown noser/butt kisser who utterly fails to understand how to take responsibility for his actions and treat her as an equal, is the problem – not men in general, as the mythos we’ve received can seem to imply from Lilith’s standpoint as the angry woman who has been wronged and is out for vengeance.

People with strong Lilith energies can thrive in relationships if they admit their true, wild-inspired natures, love themselves for it, and choose partners who in their own lives can do the same. Those who have developed conscious awareness of their Lilith sides seek partners who either have strong ties to the energy in themselves or are open enough to accept the energy in others. If you find yourself in one or more ways rather like Lilith but find yourself in relationships where she is not really welcome, this is a signal of one or more things: you are not expressing Lilith, not taking responsibility for yourself, not honoring yourself first, or not recognizing that your outer reality needs to reflect your inner reality. Take any such relationship patterns as a cue to focus on your own willingness and ability to express what your true Black Moon has to say about who you truly are on the inside.

“Notes on Lilith” article, presenting the basics of my approach to Lilith.

Lilith in the Houses

Lilith in the Signs

Natal Lilith Aspects

Transits to Lilith

Get your own True Black Moon Lilith Natal Report.