Part of me cannot believe that I am actually doing this cleanse. It views the prospect as something that could and perhaps should happen some day but, certainly, is not something I would actually do now.
But that tells me a lot about this part of me: it isn’t in the moment. Not only does it not agree that the time is now but if left to its own devices it might put it off indefinitely.
And that, of course, could not do!
Today is day 16 of the long cleanse. Regarding resetting my taste buds, that’s complete. Regarding clearing out my colon of long-carried residues from unhealthy eating habits, that’s in process.
Periodically I do have hunger. It’s supposed to pass early in the process (day 3 or 4) but I do have waves of it most days. A few days ago I started walking more and riding my bike daily, which seems to be the reason behind it probably more than anything else.
I’ve read about people doing juice cleanses who drink upwards of a gallon of juice per day. This doesn’t feel right for me. I juice 4 or 5 times each day usually about a cup per time. Sometimes 12 ounces but I always drink water with the juice and my stomach has shrunk somewhat so a lot of juice is uncomfortable. And I do drink a lot of water, sometimes 3 quarts plus what I drink with the juice.
Energetically, I am not bouncing off the walls with vim and vigor. Certainly I have moments of high energy but mostly I’m an even sort of positive even when physically tired. Going into the cleanse I was working to heal a minor but persistent shoulder injury and when I began juicing on August 2nd I hurt my foot. So for a while during the first bit after initial detox, when you should begin having a bunch more energy, I figured that I didn’t because of these two healing processes. But now I get that it’s because I’m not drinking nearly as many calories as I would be eating.
But this is what works for me at this stage. I have plenty of energy to work with my clients and to develop upcoming teaching tools, and I do have a serious level of focus due to the cleanse. I perceive that I’m able to think through things more calmly and stably, which brings more fruit to bear from any creative impulse I may have. This morning on the bike I was thinking about how I always have dozens of ideas for writing projects, classes, and the like, and now I’m focusing on two at any given time. There is more confidence in those that should be pursued – I can see more clearly what vibrates the highest and deserves time and attention.
Saturn has been on my Mars-Uranus conjunction in the 1st for, it seems, three eternities. Mars has been there for a bit, too, and it’s been really positive putting myself into self-interested action.
That Mars-Uranus conjunction is in late Libra and Ceres in the first degree of Scorpio is conjunct them. Ceres usually gets left out in my thought process about my 1st house because the big and sometimes sudden energy from the other two bodies tend to take center stage – they are louder, of course. One thread I use when working with Ceres is to examine if one takes care of others while forgoing caring for the self. In the work I do and how I do it there is a major Ceres element, and I can see how I have at times put off taking care of myself in the spirit of helping others.
But you can’t really help people effectively and feel wonderful about it if you don’t care for yourself. It’s really that simple! I’ve been learning about this over time and feel successful in a number of arenas that involve it, and the cleanse is an opportunity to focus on how I treat myself – my emotions and my body – and turn some nurturing and protective energy and focus on myself. Since Ceres does relate to food and nurturing (Ceres is the harvest goddess and the archetypal mother), a cleanse is the perfect medicine to re-establish happiness about being in my body.
So far the result is a general sort of feeling of being pleased – that’s the only way I can describe it. Laughter is more ready to come because I in general feel better about being this body. I could wax enthusiastic about it for probably another 80 seconds but all this typing is getting boring.
Stay tuned for more updates and see the video I posted yesterday about the cleanse that looks at it from a different angle.