Cleanse Update, Day 20

Here’s a quick update:

Most of me still cannot believe that this sort of thing happens, let alone that I would do or am doing it.

I had smooth sailing on all fronts until day 16, when a lot of anger came up and then gave way to sadness. The anger I feel is due to effective cleansing of my liver, and the sadness was from dealing with this anger.

Day 17 was great again, and then on day 18 a lot of reactivity and frustration at little things and making little things bigger than they should be.

On each of those two days I considered breaking the fast because of my sincere and deep-reaching exhaustion from being periodically filled with anger. It’s not constant but it is surprising and always catches me off guard. I figured if I eat raw consistently for a while then cleansing will still happen, but a slower rate.

And then yesterday I was sick the first part of the day from the night before having consumed fresh almond milk that seems to have had one or more rancid almonds in it. Easy to tell this but I wasn’t thinking clearly or straight-like the night before because of the emotions of the night before (primarily exhaustion and sadness).

Then today is day 20, and it’s back on track – smooth sailing. I did do three phone readings today and so juiced more than twice as much as the last few days. I’ve been juicing not much and working well with lots of water, but today needed more energy to be able to focus and all three calls went very well.

At this point, I am happy if I continue the cleanse and happy if I break it. No pressure, no worries. I am motivated to break it and do raw fruits and vegetables for a week to continue cleansing while safeguarding against more sudden liver energy dumps – it’s exhausting being filled with that uncomfortable, fiery energy that seeks release. I’ve been chill for weeks now on this cleanse and parts of me feel I can’t deal with that any longer/again.

But we’ll see. I’m not attached and not judging anything – doing 20 days of this is pretty great in and of itself!

Saturn is approaching my Ceres in the 1st house, and I do believe that this process is really just the beginning of getting real about how I care for myself and eat – getting real, structuring with conscious intention, and setting and working toward long-term plans. This cleanse the last two days seems the first stage in a larger and longer process – it now seems that way, anyway, and this is encouraging. It means that parts of me are adapting to a plan of eating well and thereby being kinder to myself, a wonderful Ceres-in-the-1st plan.