Effectively Working Through Grief

The last few years, I’ve been in a long-term process of learning how to work through grief. Okay, it’s more like the last 35+ years, since I realized that something deep inside me made me sometimes not very excited about life. No matter how happy I may be during any given time, there’s a thing down inside there that can bring me back to sadness and it can seem that I might have to stay there indefinitely.

In 2011 I finally understood what it was – what is the other-life source. A set of memories from another life (described in detail in The Soul’s Journey III: A Case Study) came into focus, and I was for the first time feeling consciously that thing that had always been deep under the surface. It wasn’t as frightening as I expected such a thing would be. But it changed how I see the world because I’m more connected with what other lives associated with my soul (a.k.a. past lives) are experiencing. I see things through more than one lens, in fact.

Since then I’ve been exploring ways to relax into it so I can release/heal it, knowing that it affects my mood, attitude, thoughts, beliefs, and health. Oh, and all of my relationships and everything else. (Literally everything else.)

I’ve worked with charged jet for healing grief, and also charged onyx. The jet began to soothe some of the waves undulating in the depths, and the onyx helped me deal with a ton of anger that covered over that grief. Anger is always, without exception, a response to pain. I knew that working on the taming the anger was necessary. It helped a ton, as I began to be able to ground that rush of rising energy and be notably less reactive.

The Processing Trauma and Grief mp3s (go here and scroll down) came next, as I channeled Ascended Master Djehuty and Archangel Metatron on for four 60-minute meditation/energy work recordings to work on this. I had amazing results as have people who have listened to them, but there was more for me to do.

Lately I’ve been working with charged pink opal for opening the heart. In anyone, this stone will soften the rough edges and make the person sweeter … after any pain that might be stored in your field/body rises to the surface. This means that some people (including me) working with charged pink opal will find themselves getting pretty emotional and, perhaps, weepy. That’s been my experience as I’ve intentionally set out to figure out how to let this other-life grief come to the surface.

And for me it’s huge. Giant.

The last few months I’ve been doing pretty consistent chiropractic adjustments at the crack factory, my name for the place we go. Dr. Cracker is amazing, though that’s not her real name. When she pressed down on my rib cage I feel pressure of the emotion being stirred, and today – after crying a lot this week with the pink opal, working on releasing the old pain – a fantastically large bolus of grief came up during when I was on the table.

I was suddenly altered, feeling that the pain was coming to the surface, not really me for the moment. So, that was good. I’m seriously trying to work this out! I’m getting a massage tomorrow, but to have any work done me when I’m full of the grief will push tears to the surface. I came home and felt more like Tom, and wanted to share some notes for you if you need to heal grief from this life or any other:

Intention is everything. Decide that you’re willing to do what it takes to heal. Decide you are ready to bring love to pained parts of you and release the past that has you reliving it because you haven’t yet learned to move through it.

Know you are stronger than pain. Be willing to go into pain, knowing that you are stronger than what might come up. YOU ARE. Trust me. Seriously. But you have to decide that you are and dig deep. I recommend getting grounded consistently with charged tiger iron and the 13-minute grounding meditation mp3 I offer everyone at no cost.

Know that everything is temporary. Pained pieces of self do not know this. It’s one thing after another, series of painful or disappointing situations, or a prolonged moment of awfultude that can last a lifetime. It doesn’t need to, but you need to be in charge of this process and not get swept away by the feelings (getting grounded).

Stay in your body – stay conscious. It’s easy to get swept away by emotions (why grounding is so entirely important), feeling a wave of something overtake you and going with it. As if being scooped up off your feet as you walk down the sidewalk by a passing roller coaster car. The part of you that carries this pain, whose feelings rise up as this wave of emotion, does not know how to heal. You can learn, you can figure it out. That part is drenched in the unfun feelings and doesn’t get it.

Treat these parts of you – these waves of feeling – as loved ones who need the strength of love. Be compassionate always. They don’t feel loved – they’re in pain. Stay strong through being compassionate, lovingly accepting no matter what comes up. Again, anger is a natural and normal response to pain, and if you let it come up and work itself out, the pain and sorrow behind it will reveal itself. Don’t be afraid to be angry. It’s not that you’re unlikable if you’re angry, it’s that something needs to be worked out from a grounded place.

Remain honest with yourself about how it’s going. Some days are better than others. The process of learning to love yourself as your soul intends (what I’m describing here is becoming the source of love for yourself, filling in the gaps where love, acceptance, and compassion have been missing) can be rocky. Some parts of you will buck against your efforts, feeling there’s no way you can step up and bring the compassion and soothing love that they need.

Be okay with apparent slips following successes. We’re talking about an energetic being subject to layers of emotions rising and falling like tides. There’s no perfect process except that it, in the end, gets to loving acceptance of the pained parts of self. Two steps forward and one back is normal. So is three forward and seven back followed by six forward and two back. Ease up on self-judgement, recognizing that as you work with one layer and it gets loved/the attachment to pain is released, deeper layers are revealed.

I was doing well in a gradual process until, when doing the Processing Trauma and Grief mp3s, the deepest stuff started to come up. I’ve been working on it the last few months intentionally as explained here, and wanted to spell it out because I know that it will help you if you are in need of grieving.

Call me for a consultation if you’re ready to begin this process. It helps to have a guide through this grounding, retraining, heart-opening, and releasing trip.

At times it’s not easy, but it’s always true that you’re stronger than pain because you can generate love. And your soul has you here to learn to do this. Think of needing to grieve as a marker of an intense but wonderful module of your soul’s exploration of human life through your consciousness. You’re doing what your soul has sent you here to do: Become the source of love for yourself.

Tom Jacobs is an evolutionary astrologer, energy worker, and channel with a global practice of consultations, tutoring, and teaching. 15 books, 2 natal reports, a wealth of astrology and channeled audio, and programmed/charged crystals for healing and meditation including the new onyx pieces for Plutonian issues of all kinds are available via tdjacobs.com.