Maybe it’s part 2, who knows. I want to add some info on what’s happened since I posted that first dealio a couple of days ago.
I’ve spent more time giving voice to that other-life self, that guy on another part of the timeline whose stuff is in my emotional body (we share a soul, too). When I went in for the massage yesterday, I kind of had forgotten that the practitioner does intuitive/inner work, too, which was very much needed. We talked for the first half hour and then he did body work.
The talking was helpful. Really helpful, actually. While I spend a lot of time in intuitive spaces listening behind words and feelings for the energetic sources, it’s great to be with someone who can do that for me. When I got there, most of my body was full to the brim of that old grief, making every breath uncomfortable.
Then the body work while he continued listening in. I let that other-life self come to the surface, all the while breathing into the spots Jeff was working on. At one point, I was trying to tell the other-life guy (in The Soul’s Journey III: A Case Study, he’s “A Man Who Loses Everything”) about the truths about soul, life, death, and loss that I’ve learned through working intensively with Ascended Master Djehuty (a.k.a. St. Germain, Thoth, Merlin) over the years, as well as working as a medium with the dead. Then it occurred to me that with Jeff holding space and pressing the guy’s feelings to the surface through the body work, I could get rid of the partition in my consciousness that has kept that other-life guy from meeting Djehuty.
I did it, letting other-life guy see the summaries, outlines, and slide shows I’ve been collecting in my mind from Djehuty’s cache of consciousness, and then put them in direct touch. I knew this was unprecedented for me because it’s been only the last few years that I had any contact with this other-life guy directly. To have him get a tune-up from Djehuty is pretty significant. Especially since this grief has shaped most of my life.
At the end, I felt hung over. First, I thought I felt drunk because I had the spins. Then, though, a hangover set in. I felt that way the rest of the night, wondering if I’d be able to sleep, which I did eventually.
The removal of that partition is huge. On the face of it, all I had to do was decide to remove it, but the … emotional mechanics, I guess I’ll call it, of something terribly painful coming up can have a kid distracted by the wave of emotion. Which is why it’s so critical to have someone who can travel multidimensionally while staying in the body/on Earth hold space for you while you do it.
And I’m pretty sure beyond holding space for me, it was the durations of pressing on my upper back while doing fascia-release stuff that made things stable. At the time I did realize how awesome that felt, the effect being feeling held in place. The pressure matched the internal pressure of the grief as well as my life-long pressure to try to hold it in (because expressing it might be too awful for all involved).
So, it just made sense to bring the other-life guy to Djehuty, which of course took place in my own consciousness. It seemed natural to do so. I regularly introduce clients’ other-life and inner-kid selves to Djehuty during energy work sessions, but this was the first time – and this is key – that it was okay for me to really let this grief come to the surface.
The hangover is mostly gone today, but something has shifted. I’m more aware of little things existing in my life that I just don’t vibrate with. Removing a partition within consciousness means ending an energy leak, and I expect to feel more grounded and focused over the next few days than before the session.
Part of the point to all of this is that it’s affecting my health. The rise of grief means being full of energy while being blocked, and I’m working with hypertension. All situations with the physical body begin with energy flows and blocks, and pain other-life memories are stored and affect the body. So, I’ve also been dealing with a lot of fear about what’s happening with my body, in high gear with research and taking action to heal it from many angles, but fear is still there.
Several times each day I have to remember who I am in all of this, and what I know and can do. It’s been a serious challenge to retain my ability to have faith that things can change and get better – and that I have support – while I deal with and process this other-life guy’s unbelievably deep and almost paralyzing pain that God’s a jerk, the universe sucks and is a jerk, and everything’s going to hell because of these facts and so why bother doing anything or believing anything good. (Yes, really.)
It’s often awful to get into his feelings, but they affect me in many ways and it’s time to work through it. I’m not defeated – he felt that way. My life is not destroyed by an overwhelming invasion while I watch all my loved ones get slaughtered – that was his experience. That the emotional records are in my subtle bodies (and, therefore, consciousness) is a fact, and as a multidimensional being learning to transform this stuff for my health/life and to teach others, it’s necessary that I’m open to it.
Charged tiger iron for grounding and clearing chakras 1, 2, & 3
Charged pink opal for opening the heart and flowing with emotionsCharged onyx for Plutonian transformation of all kinds
Processing Trauma and Grief MP3s (4 60-minute mp3s)
Tom Jacobs is an evolutionary astrologer, energy worker, and channel with a global practice of consultations, tutoring, and teaching. 15 books, 2 natal reports, a wealth of astrology and channeled audio, and programmed/charged crystals for healing and meditation including the new onyx pieces for Plutonian issues of all kinds are available via tdjacobs.com.